Private Sydney Escort - Melanie of Sydney

24th - 28th December 2011

Bulahdelah

21st November - 25th November

Darwin

I'm now the big 30

I turned 30 last Saturday, I will update age listing throughout site later on.

Ranting here and there

I started a ranting on the comments section of this article:Prostitution as violence against women

And it went a little something like this...

With regards to this section specifically

"I sincerely doubt you could find one person who has not been negatively impacted by their experiences of prostitution (whether the prostitute or the client). Certainly you will not find one whose life has been enhanced because of it."

The most negativity I have ever got is from people not involved, who know nothing - it is them negatively impacting me.
That aside, my experiences as a sex worker have greatly enhanced my life, I am open minded, I am more confident, I have much higher self esteem, I feel more valued than I ever did a corporate job, my job is to make people happy. Even with all the whorephobic and stigmatised crap these people fling that does put a damper on thins I am still overwhelmingly a better and happier person for being a sex worker.

You say you can't find one - I am one and I cant tell you now there are plenty others. Saying you cant find someone who has not had a negative experience of anything at some point is true of everything. You want to reduce negativity stop attacking us, stop telling us what we can think, choose and feel.

Further on the stigma not attaching to clients, I feel there is a far greater stigma attached to clients. People seem to always refer to clients as deviants and perverts, or violent killers if you go all over this article. This like for any sector of society is a small minority.

Seeking intimacy is a normal human urge, for some people it is easier to find than other. For some people the services of sex workers feels like their only opportunity to have this experience, and agreed and consenting experience.

You don't have to agree with what they want. You don't have to agree to what work I do. But you don't need to pump out such hateful diatribe a perpetuate stigma, insight discriminate, and largely ignore or discount the views of sex workers.

A later reply again;

I have a strong preference for a more neutral term such as sex worker over prostitute as I cannot say I commonly see prostitute used in anything other a negative slant, and if used in non-industry related ways is always negative.

People talk of desperation and being trapped in the industry, this can be true of any industry- I've not met many furniture movers who chose their career - sure some are happy, but no one is seeking to "save" them or disband the service they provide.

This is the difference that stigma can, and does make. One of the obstacles in changing careers from the sex industry (besides working longer hours for less pay, no longer having a job that directly improves the happiness of others, no longer having the choice of which clients you to provide professional services to) is what can I put on my resume for the last however many years. A blank resume is bad, but with stigma around sex work, putting sex work is worse. Sex workers have fantastic communication and people skills, it's all customer service, negotiating, reading people, ability to work independently, openness and often freely accepting people as they are and focusing on the positives. Private workers, add phone skills, advertising, general business acumen and skills and many others.

All valuable skills in almost any industry. I list that though, I will be openly and freely discriminated against. The stigma forces me to lie about my work history if I wish to appear employable. As a fiercely honest person, this kind of omission is soul-crushing - the idea that me as I am, and part of my life experience is so inherently unacceptable.

If sex work is seen as real work, and the skills associated with it recognised, stop pushing views of shame, lack of morality, and weakness. Then you would be helping the workers you wish to, the ones who may want a career change and leaving the people who are happily working to their own thing.

Shaming people into silence helps no one.

And another:

Peter your words are so elegant and logical that it brings light to my view of humanity which often cloud everytime people get on the stigmatisation vice. I love that you call it a vice, people's blind pursuance of it against all sense and logic it seems it can be little else.

This:
The real victims in this world are those who are on the receiving end of aggression, not those who don't like the consequences of their own actions.

Is one of the best sentences I have read in recent times.

Stigma is a tricky one to pin on who, perhaps through luck or perhaps though how I openly present myself it is the rarest of occasions I have experienced this to my face. By face I mean in person, person to person, not through people hiding behind monitors, sitting in offices, universities and government buildings.

It is easy to dehumanise, to demoralise and discount the views, feelings and experiences of people who to you have no face. I will let people at times go on anti-sex-work rants, I am open, I am out, and when I disclose my status, and relate my views, feelings and experiences people seem to come to a more reasonable position. People from all walks of life, I will have discussions with people anywhere.

Face to face people people don't tend to say you must feel this, you must think that. They ask, they accept my view. The do not dictate how I must feel or think. I am not all sex workers, but I am one and I am a real person, with valid thoughts, feeling and experiences. It's too easy to just look at a group, and make broad statements, hurtful statements and impose rules and forget that group is all people.

I feel there is much power in group-think, people who hold views for no reason other than others seem to. I generally seek, through my open and forwardness to dispel myths, to show a real face, some solid example. I hope that when someone's view becomes more moderate, or even balanced and positive, this will flow through to others, and create some different group-think. I heard, I read, I saw on TV doesn't generally carry as much weight as I actually met a sex worker, and she said.

Generally religious people of all sexes and some types of feminists are the most likely to dislike me purely on my existence, and discount that my view can be correct, or real that I must be the one who is delusional.

Pelican - who says what is more legitimate and who says that that is the only place where sex workers have choice.

A brothel, with a business owner who's business interest is making sure all rooms are busy all the time to maximise their profit?

This is what people usually mean by legitimate.

A street based sex worker, has no extra overheads dictating their work, and given the freedom to carefully select clients - not have to do so quickly for fear of arrest - would actually be the model with greatest control over choice.

There is a post per day limit on that website- so I have to wait 19hrs before I can post again. the stuff I have ready however is:

" I'd imagine visiting a prostitute wouldn't really be satisfying either - as it would be a physical act without emotional intimacy. But I guess people do these things when they're desperately lonely - So I do not judge. "

Whilst it can vary from client to client, worker to worker I feel confident in saying in a broad sense you'd imagine wrong.

Plenty of people who see sex workers do so for more than to get their rocks off. Sex workers are people they are not soulless machines, they are well capable of listening and all too often caring. Crazy I know -but hear me out.

What type of service and situation people seek depends on the person - some seek release or kink. Some want to connect with another person some sex workers have more personal barriers and may have an imagined life of which they share with their clients. There is more to being a good sex worker than your ability to create pleasurable friction.

Personally, I don't do the fake life details, not my style. The time i share with my clients is that - share, yes my aim may be different to theirs, in that my main goal is to make them happy, and it is not about my personal needs. Listening, sharing, talking, laughing, cuddling kissing these thing go along way to creating a sense of emotional intimacy. It is no more effort to suspend belief than it is with a psychologist.

Like a social worker, i do care about the people I meet, but I can keep it in a separate little box where it does not bleed into my life and bring me down.

"melanie, if you are really a sex worker then you can work that out for yourself - you would know the safest arrangements."

Firstly, a quick google and you will see I really am a sex worker, and you'll find me on TV (Secret sex lives of Australian Men and Women - Lifestyle You and Insight -SBS) and in print Cosmopolitain and MX).

But you are totally correct - sex workers are the most qualified to make that decision and judgement for themselves.

With regards to already illegal activities, these are separate to the typically defined establishments.

Drug dependency is a social issue presumably if people are in this situation they ill require a good income to continue or support to change. How you get that income if you wished to continue is a choice.

Any type of forced labour is already something to be controlled separately and is not something that is limited to the sex industry, or any particular work models within it.

Protection from violence, is something that should be afforded to any person regardless of where they happen to stand or work.The article insinuates that is is due at least in part to the view of sex workers as vulnerable, and less likely to be noticed, the isolation and secrecy which comes from criminalisation and stigmatisation. Basically if sex workers are seen by society as a whole as equally valued people then this sort of violence is likely to no longer be disproportional.

Secret Sex Lives of Australian's clip made it to youtube.

The section of "The Secret Sex Lives of Australians" I was in has found itself on the youtubes.

I posted this tiny version just to fit in the sidebar of my home page. You can find the youtube page it is on here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ggfj_nyVr50

WARNING - Do not watch if you are one of the people who wants to ignore the existence of my private life.

21st May 2011 - 9th June 2011

United Kingdom

I'm going to be on TV again

We were filmed a little while ago for a show called Secret Sex Lives of Australians it is showing early in December on Lifestyle You.
http://www.lifestyleyou.com.au/sex/im-married-to-a-sex-worker.aspx

Why is my blood and maybe yours not good enough for the Red Cross?

The Red Cross is doing a review of who they defer as donors. Currently sex workers, and their clients and partners are excluded for 12 months since they last engaged in sexual interactions. http://www.bloodrulesreview.com.au/

I have sent them a submission which goes a little something like this.....

To Celeste Vinay and the review committee,

I am writing to you particularly regarding the point of emphasis that follows;

"The appropriateness of excluding current and former sex workers and the appropriate period of any exclusion."

I was a regular blood donor before I began working as a sex worker and I found the exclusion of sex workers and their clients; offensive, discriminatory and illogical.
The notion that currency somehow makes a sexual interaction more risky, is simply ludicrous. Regardless of any cash exchange a sexual interaction is only as risky as the acts performed, and any lack of suitable protection. It would be laughable if it were not something that did not in anyway begin to protect the potential donation recipients.

Why if someone is not financially reimbursed, are they not deferred if they engage in totally unprotected intercourse with multiple partners whilst someone who received payment and uses protection such as condoms and dams and may only have been with one person is excluded?

The knowledge of STI transmission, symptoms and prevention is very high among sex workers - the vast majority of whom are regular screened, and Health Department studies show a lower rate of incidence of STI's amongst sex workers than the general population. A valid and relevant statement to itself but that is not the point. The exclusion of sex workers based solely on payment is straight out discrimination against our career choice, and that this is based on nothing tangible I find most offensive. I am denied the ability to help save lives - even with over 7 years of STI screens showing no infections.

I propose the questionnaire adequately address higher risk behaviours, not irrelevant details. Raising the idea that sex workers, and anyone who interacts with them, are automatically higher risk to every one of your potential donors who fills out the form does nothing but further promote stigma against sex workers. This is an action that is unfair, unethical and unjust - not things people would typically consider to be appropriate action by an organisation such as the Red Cross.

The questionnaire should instead address similar issues to those raised on STI clinic pre-testing questionnaires;

Number of regular partners.
Number of casual partners.
Percentage of time, condoms and dams were used for physical sexual activity, including anal and oral sex.
If any failure or breakage/slippage of condoms or similar.
If the donor has had an STI screen(s), how recent, and if there any positive result, and if so treatment, and follow up testing
Any higher risk activities such as bloodsports, play piercing, (was suitable single use sterile equipment, surgical gloves and masks/eyewear used) unprotected anal sex with known or suspected HIV individuals and possibly their viral load on antiretroviral medication.

If protection not used for 100% of activities;

If any sexual partners were known to have any STI's.
If any sexual partners were known to engage in higher risk behaviours
The type of activities undertaken without protection and a suitable assessment of risk associated based of data from health research - not off here say.

It would also seem suitable to have a "if you have only had 1 regular partner and no casual partners and always use protection please skip to question number __" statement to save people needing to tick a great deal of no boxes.

I sincerely hope that the review committee sees sense to remove, references to any form of payment or exchange from the questionnaire as it has no bearing on the risk of any activity undertaken, is not based of any current relevant research and only promotes ongoing stigma against sex workers' profession.

Melanie Robinson.

Age update

Today is my Birthday so I am now 29 and provided I have not made a technical blunder, the description page should also say this.

A response I made to a thread about worker skills training

A thread over at Funinaustralia has sparked me to write almost a novella on my hooker philosophy among other tid bits. I have also posted it here in my blog as I think its a pretty good reflection of my internal thoughts and attitude as to what I do. if you are on the front page of my site seeing this note the blog title or the more link below will take you to the full entry. There are quite a few skill sharing workshops around and often at the Scarlet Alliance Annual forum where people share all sorts of tricks and tips, learn how to put condoms on with their mouth, talk about some basics of fantasy and role play how to play safe if doing some domming, the correct way to explore someone anally to ensure you don't damage them by just sticking it up there. How to read people, how to watch for those who interfere with condoms, how to make sure you have one hand for yo and one for client and that you don't touch outside of condom with had you were sing on him before that thus putting precum all on the outside of the condom, watching to ensure the client doesn't touch themselves and then you with the same hand again fluid sharing. See people demonstrate various types of body slide ad massage techniques, post climax penis massage techniques that aren't over stimulating but good for come down. there was also a bj course in Newtown last year, dildos used as practice.

Some workers focus on providing services to those with a disability - people who often lack intimacy and feel unable to experience it any other way. there is a formal course for disability awareness run by Touching Base - they run it every year I have done it before and for those interested there is a workers only one being held in Sydney this year close to Scarlet's annual forum.

There is much "training" to be had mostly informally, and much of it happens in the staff rooms of brothels as people discuss their experiences. I think to an extent the flourish of new workers straight to private scene means loads of people never have access, or a awareness of it. This doesn't mean they are less skilled - many people who enter the industry are naturally sexually and intimately skilled, but I often get calls via the Sex Workers Union of people who don't know how to deal with problem clients, and often these people do end up at more personal risk. people don't know where to get free equipment, testing immunisation and support. Dealing with people well comes with experience, and often that's something you get right after you needed it, be it telling who is likely to waste your time on the phone, not show up or how to deal with people who are intoxicated or otherwise chemically effected. Likewise what sort of things can make someone who may have erectile issues or other personal concerns comfortable, and feel accepted doesn't come naturally to everyone. Bit like someone who is a good listener, vs a trained social worker or psychologist, some people just have a natural knack for it and some people all the training in the world wont help, but some extra knowledge to the natural gifted only makes them more impressive.

There is no formal courses in general sex worker skills though, this diminishes what everyone can bring from their experience, some things don't work for some people so there so no tried and true way, but there are some basics which won't lead you astray.

I don't think a course would make everyone robots, if it was done from a theoretical way. What are you trying to create for the person you are with is the primary consideration. Also how to bring your personality to a session as this is the thing that make you different to everyone else. I think that a hooker philosophy group would be very valuable however. Discussing needs and how to meet those, how to be in the right receptive mood so you can form a connection, what types of things people can do and what it means to people - like the head touching. I think a business around this would be contrary to a sense of community that is often felt at worker skill sharing. I personally happy share all my ideas and tricks as it were, my blog in great detail about how I give a blowjob is an example of this - I have been told by many workers it has given them more ideas and inspiration for their on work. I feel that when someone is just working for money and doesn't have pride in what they do it creates a bad impression of much of the industry. if a first time client sees someone who doesn't make any effort and clearly shows they have no interest at all not even enough to try and act like they care, this client forms a judgement on how workers are, feels scorns and never hires a service from anyone again. That removes that client from the pool of potential business so to speak, so someone doing a lousy service can in part damage everyone's potential business. The same goes for false advertising, misleading promises, and fake pictures.

Personally I find it sad when I see people saying hookers don't care they just want your money no exceptions. These people have been burned and that's awful. Same could be said for doctors, social workers, nurses whoever is doing a caring role, but it isn't as often, people can charge for a caring role, be it intimate personally and/or sexually and still have genuine care for the people they see. Mostly of the workers I know - which is a great deal - do not just see heir clients as a wallet with genitals some do and then I think they are in the wrong job.

Personally I learn well from myself I am a naturally caring person sometimes too much so and to my detriment and sex is my main interest in life, partly from physical need and much from an intellectual side of feeling I can communicate with people in a totally honest way and understand what makes them tick. I get great satisfaction from knowing I can make people feel even a bit happier trough what I an do for them. I get myself in the right head-space for sessions so I am primed to fall in love/lust temporarily - like having a big crush on someone. If you focus on a want and an emptiness and psyche yourself to believe that the net person you see will be perfect for that it's very simple then to want to be with them. Pretty much everyone has positive points be it physically or personality - focus on the good, ignore the bad - rosy glasses, the same blindness you have when you fall for someone, a times some firm focus is required to keep the blinkers on however. In my personal life I take note of what I do with people I am genuinely in love/lust with, little things, cute things, sexy things I bring these into sessions intentionally. I also take note of what I experience from others and how that makes me feel and bring those things as well, or similar things. Everyone is different but we are all hardwired the same, so somethings are pretty much universal, or fit into a few categories so it doesn't take too long to know what will suit whom. This may sound a bit calculated and cold but it isn't, it's like when you have a crush on someone and you try really hard to do things they would like, say things they would like to hear or give them things they appreciated, effort is not in-genuine.

Winter Warmer Special Offer

Coming to the end of winter and the winter blues trickles in. So I got to thinking - I like hotels and I like threesomes - these things can be combined well.

So from now until the end of winter - in joint offer with Jayde - we will heat up your hotel room with a 2 for the price of one offer.

$2000 for the both of us.

The usual terms and conditions apply. Additional discounts not available. Same day bookings may be possible if starting after 8pm. You details must be confirmed via hotel reception - deposit may not be required once confirmed through reception. Arranging a valet parking spot for us would be most appreciated. For locations outside Sydney CBD extra travel charges may apply.